We have handled several cases involving family members who either shared or kept secret their estate plans. Often, heirs ask: “Why did they tell me something different than what they told another relative or child?”
The blunt truth is that they may have wanted to stop someone from trying to dictate how their estate plan should be carried out. Occasionally, we see decedents give conflicting accounts to different family members as a self-protection tactic—employing avoidance to escape discomfort, pressure, or undue influence.
Unfortunately, when a decedent says one thing but leaves a different undisclosed plan, it often leads to will contests or expensive litigation from disgruntled heirs. Fortunately, in our experience, these cases usually result in the decedent’s actual written plan being upheld.
We also see clients attempt to contradict the terms of a will or trust by suggesting the decedent “wanted something else.” I have to remind them that, as the estate attorney or executor, we are bound to follow the specific terms of the executed document. Any effort to deviate from those terms could result in the executor or attorney being removed by the court. A document may only be set aside if it can be proven that it does not reflect the decedent’s true intent.
Those who attempt to manipulate a decedent often fail due to legal presumptions regarding undue influence. My advice? Even if asked, don’t get too involved in the planning process of a loved one. Instead, suggest they see a competent estate attorney to assist them. It will save a significant amount of anxiety, legal fees, and family relationships.