Often, you hear a casual farewell expression: “Take care.” That came to mind when I was trying to help a client who “cared so much for others,” she lacked the resources to provide for herself and her medical care. Friends and family know who has a soft heart and sometimes take advantage by ignoring the needs of those who they are asking for help. Worse yet, just helping those you care about in difficult circumstances might be merely “bailing them out” and not helping them learn from the choices they have made. As a result, the bad choices and irresponsibility will continue because being bailed out avoids having to learn from the consequences of one’s actions. We have seen the problems that arise when this becomes a pattern in which some family members relate. The giver feels needed and gives despite the hardship, which may result in giving too much, and the recipient of the gift then becomes dependent. Sometimes, the person giving does so to feel needed and to control the recipient. It’s good to be needed, but giving in order to control others is selfish and harmful to the person being manipulated. Sometimes, the recipient is taking advantage as well. Controlling, manipulating, and enabling are not the basis of trusting relationships. Truly caring is uncomplicated; it’s just not easy to figure out how to help in each instance.