Death: It’s not easy, but don’t make it harder

Watching a loved one struggle at the end of life is never easy, but it’s something that almost everyone faces and that we cannot control.
It’s emotional. One considers the relationship with the loved one and has to consider the relationship with their current and extended family members. Those relationships can make the passing of life more difficult. We don’t know what the loved one “would have wanted” unless they have expressed that in a document.
I have even heard recently, “I had a healthcare power of attorney, but I can’t find it.” In response I politely mentioned to the healthcare facility, “Honor that document once we see it; until then, next of kin govern the care and disposition of a loved one pursuant to statute.” The facility, relieved not to be embroiled in a conflict, agreed. Once more, the facility could not have provided medical information about the person under their care to a third party without the third party having a healthcare directive.
Overall, our advice is to celebrate the loved one’s life and to remember how they enriched your lives, which will help them live on in your memory. Commit their bodies consistent with their beliefs. Avoid financial issues, which are often a catalyst to conflict. The will cannot be probated and executor appointed immediately anyway.